i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
