checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
