On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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