is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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