Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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