Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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