I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
