You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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