when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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