Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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