You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
