mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
