is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
