I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
