I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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