once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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