I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
