i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So. Much. Porn.
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