Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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