Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
