Plan B is the new Plan A
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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