Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
