We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize