Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
