Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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