Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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