do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Holy sore nipples Batman
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
