I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
