Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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