she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
