so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize