We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
