Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it glows. i had to have it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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