i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the day after is always just damage control
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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