positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
