I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
