Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
