when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
