What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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