And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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