The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
