Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
