you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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