you guys were way drunker than both of me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
