I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
