While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize