wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
