she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
