i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
