you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
