I want to make a zoo with you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
