Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
third nipple confirmed
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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