It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
