I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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