i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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