she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize