I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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