I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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