I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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