I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
