maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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