I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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