I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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