have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".