She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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