when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
