I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
